A Splashy Misadventure

i went for a swim today. i didn’t really mean to. i was sunning myself on the backyard deck, and then a beautiful butterfly flew by. it was the most colorful butterfly i ever saw! i think it was a monarch butterfly, and i was so in awe that i got up and followed it.

it fluttered all over the backyard, and i trotted after it, until it flew over the fence into the neighbor’s yard. that’s the yard that the boxer dog lives. i can’t stand that mean old dog, but i heard his owner taking him out for a walk. from my many adventures i discovered a loose board in the fence, right near the corner, so i squeezed thru and went into the neighbor yard.

the coast was clear- the boxer was no where in sight, so i went on. i spotted the butterfly fluttering over some bushes, and i hurried over there. the monarch went up and circled around, and i followed it wherever it went. it was only a foot above me. rays from the sun shone right thru its wings, making the colors so vivid, i could hardly stand it.

well, i was looking up and i didn’t see the pool, and suddenly i was all wet, and sinking fast. i panicked right away. i was almost at the bottom of the pool, and i thought this kitty cat was meeting it’s end. i faintly saw the sun thru the top of the water as my lives past before my eyes again. i was so scared. i held my breath, but i started getting dizzy.

would this be this kitty’s final adventure? was this life number nine? find out next week for the rest of this story…

Those Pesky Squirrels Again!

i was taking a very nice cat-nap this afternoon in the shade of our avocado tree. i was dreaming a wonderful dream about another hotel vacation where the room-service brought me delicious food all day long, when something bonked on my head, and woke me instantly from my nice dream. beside me was a half-eaten avocado, and i knew immediately that those pesky squirrels were at it again.

i looked up into the tree, but i didn’t see the squirrels. my eyes scanned the branches as my brain tried to think of a plan of attack, but just then another avocado came flying toward me, like a bomb from an airplane in one of those war movies on tv. i jumped out of the way just in time!

then another avocado came down, and another! i got out of there quick. retreat! luckily the backdoor was open so i scampered inside. at last i was safe from the avocado bombs- those squirrels wouldn’t dare go in the house. i’m not afraid of the squirrels- it’s just that, well, one of these days i’ll catch one of them and teach them a lesson!

but for now i’ll just get ready for dinner. we’re having cobb salad with chunks of tuna, the water-packed kind! yummy!


A Comic Book

frans is working on a comic book. i’m not sure what it is about, but here’s a small preview. it’s 2 guys fighting, is all i can tell. i see him working in his studio out by the backyard all the time. sometimes i go with him just to keep him company. he puts the radio on, or plays music when he’s there, but i think he gets lonely, so i go out there with him. i watch him work for a while, but it gets boring-he just sits there drawing and after a while i always dose off.

a bunch of disney animators are working on the comic book. i think it’s going to be called FLIP. i’m not sure why- maybe it’s because he sits there flipping his pencil in the air when he’s thinking about what to draw. whatever it is, i want to know what those guys are fighting for. i’ll have to sneak another sample soon.

i try to concentrate when i watch frans work, but my brain always drifts off, and always my thoughts end up about what’s for dinner. i think frans is barbequing chicken tonight. oh boy, he slaps on lots of barbeque sauce, which drips all over the place, so i stand right beside him to catch the drips. yummy! i can’t wait for dinner!


Stuck In A Dark Place

that bothersome gopher came back today. i was out for an afternoon stroll in the backyard when i discovered a new messy mound.  right away my afternoon was ruined! i thought for a moment about something to do. and while i was thinking, that gopher appeared with no warning at the top of the mound, which startled me terribly.

he stared right at me, and it made me feel very uncomfortable. and then he disappeared down the hole again. i knew  what i had to do, without even having to think about it, and i took off right after him into the mound.

good thing cats can see in the dark, because it was really dark in there.  i rushed after him. i rushed down the tunnel after that gopher, pushing dirt aside and kicking my powerful legs. after lots of running and digging i stopped for a rest, and i realized i had not gone anywhere. as a matter of fact, i was stuck. my belly was bigger than that tunnel, and there was no way i was going forward. so i decided to go backward. but that didn’t work either. i pulled and kicked and pushed with all my strength, but i was absolutely stuck!

if that gopher came back i would have died of embarrassment.  what kind of a guard-cat was i to get stuck like that? a scared one, that’s what! i meowed as loud as i could, and hoped that someone in my family found me. but no one came to my rescue.

i started getting hungry. and if that wasn’t bad enough, i needed to use my litter-box. how much worse could this get?! i struggled for what felt like hours! oh the agony. i don’t know if a whole day passed, or even a week. when you are down in an awful  place like that, time has no meaning. all nine of my lives passed before my eyes. i think i fainted at one point, and i slept for maybe a day.

i was about to give it all up, when my leg suddenly pulled free, and before i knew it i was up on the ground in the backyard! oh boy, it felt good to be alive. i raced inside the house to use my litter-box, and then it was dinner-time. scallops and linguini- one of my favorites!

i’ll worry about that gopher some other time. meow!

A Scary Alligator!

i watched a nature show on tv with my family today. i had my favorite spot on the couch armrest, in my favorite position- all sprawled and stretched out. the tv show was about wild alligators. these alligators were humongous! and the man on the tv called them crocodiles, eventho they were really alligators.

well, when one of those alligators opened his mouth, i nearly lost one of my 9 lives! i never saw so many teeth before! that alligator had more teeth than my whole family and me put together! i sat right up and watched as those teeth slammed together. wham! oh boy, i wouldn’t want my tail in between those teeth!

but it got worse. the alligator disappeared under the water, right near a big buffalo that was drinking. watch out! i thought, but the buffalo kept right on drinking. i couldn’t bare to watch! i closed my eyes, and then i heard mom shrieking, and i knew the gator got him. it was unbearable. i just kept my eyes closed, and after a while i fell asleep.

i had a terrible dream that a alligator was chasing me. oh, it was too awful to tell- i’ll save that for another day. luckily when i woke up it was dinner time. dad made barbeque chicken! oh boy, that almost made me forget my bad dream. i ate so much i could barely climb back on the couch for another nap.


A Duel At Sea.

here i am doing what i’m best at. i dream better when i sleep on my back. this afternoon i was cat-napping in the living room, lying on the cool hardwood floor, basking in the warm sun that came in thru the window.

i had an adventurous dream- i was on a sailboat out at sea, battling a gigantic swordfish. those things are scary, and i fought and fought with all my cat strength. i looked that fish straight in the eyes as i hooked  her by the tail. she pulled with all her might, and so did i. the sea was rough that day, my friend, but i was rougher. salt water slapped my face and dug into the wounds that my opponent’s sharp beak had made. but i didn’t give in.

i dream tough, and tough was what was needed to beat this devil of the deep sea! i was a mean fighting machine, and i pounded that fish with my paws until i cried in my sleep! i hit her and hit her, but she wouldn’t go down. then, a stroke of luck. just as she jumped high out of the water, aiming her spear right for my heart,  a gust of wind blew into the sail, which swung across the boat and whacked the dreadful fish. she landed in my boat and breathed her last breath. i sank to my knees, drenched and exhausted.

i was so pooped when i woke up that i immediately took another nap! this time i dreamed about dinner- i hoped mom was making spaghetti. she makes the best spicy meatballs!


A Nasty Gopher!

our backyard has been invaded by a gopher! that rascal digs under-ground tunnels all over the place, or under the place, i should say. and when he comes up above the ground he makes a big mound of dirt which makes the yard a big mess. mom and dad work so hard to make my yard pretty- planting flowers and bushes and plants and keeping everything neat and tidy. and then this gopher comes and makes a big mess!

i decided to teach that gopher a lesson. i made a trap for that gopher. i cleverly sat down right smack in front of one of his messy mounds and waited for him to return. my plan was to scare that gopher the instant his nasty little head appeared, and jump up and hiss really loud and scare that gopher out of his wits so that he would hurry back down his tunnel and never come back to our yard.

so i waited. while i waited i practiced my hissing. i made my eyes small so they were almost slits, and then i spit as i hissed. boy, i almost scared myself! i knew that when that gopher showed up i was going to give him the scare of his life. oh, boy, i couldn’t wait! he wasn’t coming very quickly tho, but i waited patiently. and then i waited some more. i would show that gopher i could out-wait him!

but the gopher just wasn’t coming. i was really determined to scare that gopher, so i kept on waiting.

when you’re just sitting and waiting, there isn’t much to get tired from, but i was getting pretty tired of waiting. the sun was getting warmer, and i was also getting sleepy.  and then my tummy started getting hungry. i tried to ignore my hunger and sleep. i tried counting to keep me awake, but how many times can you count to 3?! pretty soon the counting was making me sleepy…

my rumbling tummy woke me up. i slept all afternoon, and it was nearly dinner time! i couldn’t believe it- i slept right thru my own trap! and you know what’s even worse, there was another messy gopher mound right next to the one i was guarding! oooh, that made me sooooo angry. i was about to attack that awful gopher mound, but then my tummy rumbled again, and then i remembered that mom was making swedish meatballs tonight. oh boy, i loooooooove those meatballs even more than i can’t stand those dirty gopher mounds. so i quickly cleaned myself up and rushed inside for dinner.

i’ll get that gopher some other time.


Playing soccer!

i played soccer today with my family in the backyard.   at first i wanted to play  goalie, because goalies don’t have to run a lot- they just stand around most of the time. i’m very good at that. but then everybody was kicking the ball at me, and shouting for me to stop it!

i was so scared when that black and white ball came to me, that i tucked my head in and rolled up into a ball. but then i had a thought- i have those occasionally, and my thought was this. i’m black and white, and so is the ball, and i’m rolled up and round, and so is that ball! so my family might think that the ball was me, and they might kick me instead of the ball! that thought made a lot of sense to me, so i jumped out of the way quick!

it’s much safer playing in the middle of the yard. i chased the kids around a little, and whenever the ball came in my direction, i just got out of the way. but it was still a work-out, and soon i was pooped, so  i took a rest in the shade of our avocado tree.  lying there comfortably on a soft patch of grass, munching on a soft avocado, i realized that watching soccer is a lot easier than playing soccer. my family played for a while more. it was boys against girls, and i don’t know who won- i was too involved with that delicious avocado.

finally my family stopped playing and went inside. mom and dad made tuna fish sandwiches for lunch. of course they made one for me too. there was melted swiss cheese on top, and chopped sweet pickles and avocado inside- the cat’s meow! after all that activity and that yummy lunch, i’m going too take a long cat-nap and dream about what’s for dinner!


A new toy!

i found something on the living room floor today! i’m not sure what it is, but it’s black and shiny and about as long as my front leg. i knew right away that it was a new toy for me. my family is so nice!

i wondered if it was a race car, eventho i didn’t see any wheels. i turned it one way, and got ready to chase it, but it just sat there. then i turned it the other way, but it still didn’t move, so i turned it over. there were lots of buttons in all sorts of colors. but i couldn’t figure out what it was  supposed to do.

i put my paw on it a few times. suddenly the tv came on and i jumped 3 feet in the air because there was nobody else in the room to turn it on! i nearly had a heart attack! i looked all around, but i was the only one in the room. how could that be? i still have not figured that out. there was a cartoon on the tv so i watched for a while. then i got tired of that so i went to play with my new toy again. i pushed it across the floor and pounced on it, and then i heard a loud noise behind me. there was nobody else in the room, but the cartoon was gone from the tv and there were a bunch of cowboys shooting at each other.

i got comfortable and stretched out on top of my toy, and suddenly a big lady was singing on tv! what happened to the shooting cowboys? i thought.  i was just getting into the movie! i got up, and suddenly the singing lady disappeared and a man was shouting about a cleaning product!

then Mom showed up saying, “fuddles!” and she took my new toy away. i don’t understand it at all. the whole morning was very confusing, so i took a long cat-nap to make me forget it all, which didn’t work- i still remember it all. but mom is making fajitas for dinner, with avocados and chips! yummy! that’ll  make me forget any bad thing!