Wine Guru Fuddles

i’m a wine-taster guy! i stand around with my eyes half closed, shaking elegant glasses and sniffing this red stuff inside. i don’t really smell anything, but i pretend to. and then i make a big fuss and an awful expression and i say something like, “you call this wine? i say this is pig-slop! next!!” or i may say something nice, like, “this is really sweet, like the milk  mom used to make.”

and then i try another glass, and i do the same thing again. sometimes i go a little over-board and spit the stuff out, shouting, “who is in charge here?! why are you giving me this sewer-water?!! give me something with character and a little body, for heaven’s sake!”

i have no idea what i’m talking about, but it’s a lot of fun pretending. hey, i smell something… pizza! we’re having pizza with smoked chicken and gorgonzola and dried tomatoes, and a hint of garlic! when mom bakes it at just the right temperature, there’s a barely detectable mischief in the flavor, a hint of full-bodied citrus acidity that punctures the taste-buds and leaves a delicate aftertaste!

meow.

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