my family and i watched a movie about a detective. he kissed lots of ladies and punched a bunch of tough guys. i don’t know how the movie ended because i snoozed off and had a dream that i was a tough guy gumshoe, even though i didn’t have any gum on my shoes. i didn’t even have shoes!
i was hired to break up a mouse syndicate that had cornered the swiss cheese market. i snuck into their hide-out and got the drop on their leader, the big cheese. he and his gal, camembert, were having swiss cheese fondue. the cheese made his fingers sticky, so i had my colt 45 on his mug before he got his smith & wesson. he tried to be a wiseguy, so i socked him in his puss and he dropped like a sack of cat chow. i got rid of the girl and ate the fondue, and then i went home.