That Darn Cat!

i’m a movie star! i do all the things that i normally do, like eat yummy gourmet meals and take naps in baby strollers and roll around on clean laundry, but in this movie i’m an actor. i make sure they only get my good side, which is really every side of me. i clean my teeth before the close-ups, and i get my fur all shiny.

it’s not easy being a movie star. they make you do the same thing over and over and  you have to sit for make-up all the time. i don’t know why- i lick myself clean constantly. and when i do a big action scene, like jumping off the couch and running out of a room. i need to take a nap, but they make me do it all over again. try doing that four times in a row!

all that work makes me so hungry! but the food on the set is pretty good. today we’re having roast beef with marsala wine and dijon mustard and mashed potatoes and mushrooms and green beans.

ready for another close-up, mr. de mille!

meow.

Cat On A Hot Tin Roof

it was such a nice day that i went outside into the backyard and climbed on a neighbor’s garden shed. the roof was right in the sun and it was warm and cozy so i took a really long nap and had a great dream about swedish meatballs.

but suddenly i woke up because i was very hot. i decided to cool off inside, but my paws started to burn on that roof! did someone start a fire under that roof?! i quickly turned to go the other way, but it was just as hot there! ouch! i scrambled around in a circle, looking for a cooler spot, but every place i set my paws burned my toes.

ouch! ouch! ouch! i hopped up and down and scampered across that roof and finally landed on the grass. my paws hurt so bad i had to crawl on my tummy to get inside. the outside world can be a cruel and painful place. i’m not going out there any time soon.

we’re having scallops for dinner, but i hope there’s ice cream for desert so i can put my paws in it and cool them down.

meow.

I Love Fuddles

i was having a catnap and i dreamed that i was a ditzy worker at a chocolate factory standing at a conveyer belt and i had to wrap the little chocolates in paper wrappers and the conveyer belt was moving too fast and the chocolates were coming quicker and quicker and i couldn’t keep up so i started eating all the chocolates but they were still coming too fast and i couldn’t fit anymore in my mouth and i kept grabbing more chocolates!

what a nightmare! i was all sweaty when i woke up and then i realized that it was only a dream. and then i realized that mom was making a chocolate cake for desert tonight, with lots of whip cream and strawberries on top, and almonds on the side.

meow!

Black and White Kitty In A Black and White Bathroom

this kitty is bathing in the bathroom. good thing- his paws are filthy! i never let myself get so dirty. when i go outside i watch where i step. i carefully trot around the dirt patches in the grass, and i never go on the lawn if it hasn’t been freshly mowed. otherwise i just stay on the paving stones.

my family takes really good care of the yard. the only thing i don’t like are those unsightly gopher mounds. those filthy gophers crawl under the ground, in a bunch of dirt. how disgusting! whenever i see a gopher mound i run over and scatter all the dirt so the ground is nice and flat again.

but then my paws get all dirty and i need a bath. and all that scattering and cleaning makes me really hungry. that reminds me- we’re having enchiladas tonight! smothered with sour cream and guacamole and made with dried chile de arbol peppers and corn tortillas and shredded lettuce and chopped green onions and thinly sliced tomatoes. oh boy, i’m getting myself cleaned up for that!

meow.

Another Fuddles Fan!

this man is clearly a cultured, refined intellectual, enjoying a challenging read. a comfortable setting, refreshing drink, and a pulsating plot filled with twists and turns. this will likely lead to stimulating conversations later in the day with his fellow book-lovers.

such brainpower requires good nutrition, and i’m about to enjoy one of my stimulating exercises- eating! i’ve been waiting all day for a serving of vegetarian hand-rolled sushi. mom makes it with asparagus, avocado and yummy scallions and black sesame seeds and white rice.

meow!

Fuddles Astaire

i’m a star dancer! sometimes when nobody is looking, i prance around the living room, pretending i’m a movie star in an old movie. i do flips and somersaults, jumping from the couch to the coffee table to the floor. i flop around most of the time, but i pretend i’m dancing just like the guy on tv.

when i do a big belly flop my tummy starts to growl and i suddenly realize how hungry i am. then i have to stop and hurry to the kitchen to see what’s cooking. and tonight it’s chili with italian sausage and chili beans in spicy sauce and diced tomatoes and green chile peppers and chopped bacon bits and paprika and minced garlic.

i don’t think i’ll be dancing tomorrow…

meow

A Beary Scary Nightmare

i was all cozy on my pillow, taking a little catnap, and having a really nice dream about a delicious banana split sundae, when a big brown bear came out of nowhere charging at me and scaring me half to death! i ran as fast as i could, but no matter how fast i ran, that bear just kept coming after me.

i ran and ran, and then i found myself in an upstairs bedroom. i was in a cold sweat, shaking all over. the bear was gone, and the house was very peaceful. and then i smelled something really good, and i remembered we’re having pizza for dinner.

i felt instantly better! yummy pizza with baked chicken and sun-dried tomatoes and mozzarella cheese and chopped green onions!

meow.

Truce

look at these two, enjoying a peaceful moment. i bet they’re not always friends. especially at dinner time. then they probably fight like cats and dogs!

i’m glad i don’t have to fight for my dinner. i get it served all to myself every night. and tonight is linguini with red peppers and broccoli and minced garlic cloves and thinly sliced red bell pepper and grated parmesan cheese. here’s to a peaceful dinner!

meow

Sleeping Kitty

look at this sleeping kitty. he looks even more comfortable than me in my bed! i’m a great napper- i take naps all day long. i have my own nap pillow, but my favorite thing is stretching out on a pile of clean laundry. i roll up into a shirt or sweater or snuggle under a warm sheet. it makes me so happy i purr like a kitten!

and when i wake up i’m always hungry, so then i go to the kitchen to see what’s cooking. tonight it’s chinese dumplings with sesamy oil and soy sauce and pork filling and green onions, shrimp, water chestnuts, and ginger root!

oh boy! i’m taking another nap just to build up my appetite!

meow.