A garden misadventure

i was having a nice stroll in our garden this morning, purring contently in the warm sunshine, rolling in the grass and rubbing my back against the oak tree.suddenly a delicious aroma from the chrysanthemums filled my pink nose. just as i started sniffing them the ground started shaking. i was so frightened i didn’t know what to do!

i dashed behind the oak tree, sure that i was about to lose one of my nine lives. but then a gopher emerged from the dirt, and i realized i’d been fooled again. i was so mad i charged at him, and that cowardly gopher disappeared into his tunnel. i went after him but my tummy got stuck, and  i pushed and pulled for a long time to get myself free.

i was so exhausted i just plopped down on the grass! and then my tummy started rumbling. all that excitement made me really hungry, but i was a complete mess. i couldn’t possibly let my family see me like this! so i licked myself clean from head to toe.

and just when i came in it was dinner time! what a stroke of luck- we’re having jumbo shrimp with stuffed with cilantro and chiles and ground black pepper and jalapenos!

after my terrible garden adventure, i think i deserve that.

meow.

Go USA! Hup Holland!

yay! the olympics are here! i can watch people run and jump and kick and lift all day long from my comfy spot on the couch! frans’ niece, kitty van male, is playing field hockey for holland- so i’ll be rooting for her and the american women’s soccer team and all the other athletes.

i did my exercises this morning, so my tummy is nice and trim. now i’m going to enjoy some yummy munchies- caviar puff pastries, stuffed green peppers and pita bread with white bean and pesto hummus dip and coffee chocolate truffle kisses for dessert!

oh boy, i could do this all day long, and i think i will!

meow.

 

Float like a butterfly

a butterfly fluttered right passed me, so i followed it around the backyard. i went up and down across the lawn and through the flowers and over the hedges. i felt as light as the butterfly, and i wished i could just take off and fly all around my yard!

i was having lots of fun, until suddenly i was pooped. no more floating for me- i dropped like a sack of potatoes. and speaking of potatoes, while i was gasping for air i remembered that we’re having hashbrowns with ham and eggs for dinner! i love the hashbrowns smothered in ketchup, with just a touch of salt and pepper. and for desert i get a big rootbeer and chocolate chip ice cream float!

oh boy, forget butterflies! there’s nothing better than a hungry cat with a big yummy meal in front of him!

meow.

i climbed the countless steps to the top of the diving platform. the pool looked small so far below, but i boldly stepped forth, fearlessly and confidently. my toes gripped the edge of the diving board. i took a deep breath, bent my knees and leaped high, somersaulting through the air before descending down toward the  AAAAAAAAHHH!!

i got to stop these catnap dreams! here i am on the floor next to my pillow, shaking like a leaf. i’m even more tired than i was before i took my nap. now i need another one!

but wait! i smell dinner cooking- mom’s making oysters and artichoke casserole. i don’t know if my tummy is up for that yet, but it smells really good! mushrooms sauteed in butter! minced green onions, thinly sliced unpeeled lemon and a pinch of thyme and paprika!

meow.

Two Silly Guys Reading Fuddles

these guys are clearly enjoying fuddles.  and look at their car- i’ve never seen anything like it! they must be artists! and they would really appreciate reading about my adventure.

and i’m about to have another adventure- with dinner! tonight we’re having grilled bratwurst! i haven’t had that in ages. mom simmers the sausages in beer with sauerkraut and yellow onions and celery seeds. a bunch of mustard on the side-what an adventure that will be!

meow!

Scary Squirrels

3 giant scary squirrels jumped from our backyard tree and knocked me down and demanded i give them half of my dinner every day or else! that would be the end of me! i need 3 full meals- i’ll starve without my daily nourishment!

the squirrels started to get rough with me. i was sweating! i didn’t even know cats could sweat, but i did. then i woke up and i was on my comfy pillow and  there were no big squirrels anywhere. what a relief! just to be safe, i ate my dinner really fast, in case those nasty squirrels showed up to take it from me.

i think i ate too fast, because now my tummy is all bloated and sore. mom’s spicy chicken andouille sausage chili is weighing me down. and i shouldn’t have had seconds of the cornbread. i better take another nap to relax my tummy, and if those mean squirrels come back to scare me i might give them my dinner in a way they wouldn’t want.

meow.

Pool lounging

i love lounging in the pool. it works all the stress of the day away. i’m no longer bothered by worrying thoughts like will i have my nails clipped today? or will the sand in my litter box be replaced or do i have to go a whole other day with that smell? i can just drift away with a clear mind, at ease and trouble free.

not completely trouble free, of course. a busy cat like me always has thoughts lingering in his brain. for instance, before i got in the pool i thought i smelled lasagna aromas from the kitchen, which sounds yummy. but now that i’m out here i smell baby back ribs from the neighbor’s barbeque! oh boy, i love baby back ribs… especially when it’s lathered thick with spicy barbeque sauce…

see! there goes my peace of mind! how can i possibly relax with these conflicting yummylicious smells floating through my nostrils?! my brain is driving me out of my mind! i can’t take it!

i better get back inside and concentrate clear my head. i do love the way mom makes lasagna with italian sausage and ricotta and parmesan cheese and lots of tomato sauce. i’m feeling better already!

meow.

Party Problems

whenever my family has a party i have a lot of problems. the house gets really crowded, and people trample everywhere as if they own the place. there’s always a shoe or a leg bumping me or stepping on my tail. and they walk around eating my food too! nobody seems to realize that this is my house, and that they are guests here. one lady actually had the nerve to push me off my couch!

us four-leggers get the short shrift.  i wish my family would teach these visitors some manners. especially the kids! they pick me up all the time and play with me as if i’m a toy! they can barely hold me because i weigh more than they do, so my poor tummy hangs out and drags on the floor.

i can’t wait until they all leave. then i get some peace and quiet. and a good party meal too.  tonight i’m getting smoked grilled salmon with lemon pepper and garlic powder, and mashed potatoes on the side!

meow.

A Happy Reader

look at this boy read. he’s so engrossed. see how intensely he is engaged- he must be at the dramatic climax, the part where i got lost in my neighborhood. that was the scariest day of my life. it was so dark that i could barely see my paws in front of my eyes! there were scary sounds i’d never heard before-rustling in the trees, owls whooing and dogs barking. i never knew there were so many dogs in our neighborhood. and on top of that, i was so tired and hungry.

i’m glad i’m home on my comfy pillow. just thinking about that awful adventure made my tummy rumble. i’m so hungry i could eat a horse! which is a good thing because i smell horseradish, and that means we’re having flank steak tonight! i can already taste the dijon mustard and worcestershire sauce sprinkled with finely chopped green onions.

meow!