i should win an award for my culinary talents. with my fine-tuned nose i can sniff food from across the house and i know exactly what’s for dinner. i can pick out gourmet rosemary crust lamb chop from chicken pad thai or polish sausage with cabbage or an oscar mayer wiener!
i consider myself a cuisine fine-artist. eating is an art form that few people appreciate the way i do. mealtime is sacred to me, a personal time to get in touch with the thing that matters most. for me it isn’t- and the envelope, please. it’s- and the the dinner dish, please!
i like to stretch after a nice long nap. i always curl up when i sleep, and my body gets tight like a knot. it’s probably because i think about big important things when i snooze, like if i have hamburgers for lunch, should i have steak for dinner or something vegetarian? pondering these thoughts makes my body tense, so when i wake up i shake my fanny and stretch my legs to get all the kinks worked out. sometimes it’s a real work-out, and then i’m so hungry i could eat a horse! i’ve never actually eaten a horse, but i looooove duck a l’orange!
hmmmmm, i can just taste the zesty orange sauce made with peychaud bitters and grand marnier, with garlic and onions and chopped celery, served with sweet potatoes and spiced butter pecan topping!
life can be a puzzle, and so can i! i’m a very complicated cat- sometimes i want to spend the morning just hanging out in the kitchen, and other times i want to be in the living room, napping on the couch. and i won’t even know why! i can’t even figure myself out. do i dream to eat, or eat to dream? it’s all very complicated…
that’s why frans made a puzzle out of me. kids can print this picture and cut out the pieces and put me back together again. and meanwhile i’m going to the dining room to dream about a yummy catfish dinner made with buttermilk and paprika and celery seeds and garlic powder and cooked in peanut oil!
these kids from an elementary school in Canoga Park are chuckling because i am sooooo animated! i flop and slip and flip around and do all sorts of funny stuff. it’s easy when you’re animated. but for real i’m happy just lounging around on the couch at home.
speaking of home, this week frans is doing a skype visit from home with the school, so he can talk to the kids and they can ask him lots of questions about me. and they can see me too! i’ll sit on frans’ lap for a little while. but when it gets close to lunch time i get a little cranky. my tummy starts to rumble, and it gets a little awkward. so i’ll go take a nap and dream about being a baker or a butcher or a chef, anything to take my mind off food.
it’s valentine’s day- time for everyone to spend some romantic time with their sweeties! and time for me to spend time with my sweets!
i like to sit by the soft candle light listening to romantic music like “what’s new pussycat?” and “cat scratch fever” while munching on caramel chocolates and peanut-butter-jam heart cookies and heart-shaped cherry pie and chocolate strawberries and cream cheese sugar candies and lolly pop cookies and chocolate truffle cookies.
i love valentine’s day!
i’ve been watching all these athletes on tv jumping and twirling and falling. i do that stuff too, but for me it’s all about food. a golden brown roasted turkey is worth a little work-out. so i climb and clamber and push and pull, and i heave and hoist and stretch and strain. and by then i’m so hungry that i eat almost everything in sight.
and i get the gold every time!
i love birds. birds are some of the yummiest things in the world! i watch birds all day long and i ponder how good they taste. i tried catching a bird once but it was too much work and i got all tired. so i just watch them instead. the problem with that is i get so comfortable and relaxed that i doze off.
then i dream about food and i wake up with a delicious daydream in my head of something really yummy like roasted pheasant with green beans and mashed potatoes and a little caeser salad on the side. and then i want to eat but i have to wait until dinner time, and that’s for the birds!
the kids in my house have these things that beep and ring and buzz and make all sorts of sounds. they sit there talking to them, and i can hear voices coming out of them too. the kids tap on these things with their fingers and i wonder what would happen if i could play with them, but i don’t have opposable thumbs.
if i did then i could hold those things and then maybe it would make me laugh out loud too and i could shout at them and dance around the house to the music it plays. maybe if i ate it my tummy could play music, but it doesn’t look very yummy.
i’ll just wait until dinner time for something yummy. fried buffalo wings with bleu cheese dressing and hot sauce and garlic powder and paprika and celery sticks. that sounds much better!