Fuddles of Arabia

fuddles of arabia surveyed the vast sahara that lay before him. hundreds and hundreds of miles of nothing but sand, the hot sun baring down, beating the life out every living thing. death was imminent, every breath potentially his last. his soul slowly fading away.

one recurring thought was prominent in his mind-  a shrimp salad would be lovely right now. fresh, tart, tangy shrimp, lightly sauteed over a bed of crisp lettuce, with perhaps some sun-dried tomatoes, (would there be any other kind out here..?) with chopped walnuts, onions, hard boiled eggs, and light, italian dressing. some chocolate truffle to top it off…

meow.

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On the prowl

like a tiger searching the vast grasslands for prey, i’m always on the lookout for pesky squirrels that invade my territory and eat avocados and taunt me from high in the trees.  i’m always on my guard, my primal instincts attuned to my surroundings. i have such a sharp sense of smell that i can spot intruders in a flash, their scent alerting my highly tuned nostrils so i can strike in an instant.

for instance, i’m smelling something right now. i sniff, sniff some more, all the while analyzing the smell and where it’s coming from. i’m on high alert, ready to face the imposter and defend my homeland. the scent becomes stronger. my muscles tense up, i’m ready to pounce. ooh! the smell is tangy, spicy, kind of yummy. wait a minute, it’s spaghetti and meatballs! it’s dinner time! yay, here i come!

meow.

Face off

the dog currently residing in our house likes to lounge in all my places. i constantly have to remind him that this is my domain and that i let him stay here out of the goodness of my heart. i keep waiting for a family to adopt him and take him away…

he really pushes my patience. some days i’m taking a nice nap on the couch, and that loudmouth wakes me up with his barking, just because the mailman came by! and then when i’m having an afternoon treat, he slobbers all over it drinking from his water bowl. and then, if someone comes to visit, he goes absolutely bonkers, running around the house barking up a storm. you’d think he was told we’re having steak for dinner!

i don’t like dogs. they have absolutely no manners. cats are so much more refined and cultured. i’m going to find a quiet spot, away from loudmouth, where i can think and plot how to get rid of him…

meow.

Catcalls at the opera

i love to sing. i should sing at an opera house. my singing would bring the house down! i would sing about love with such passion, there wouldn’t be a dry eye in the house. i would declare my love for linguini and clams, or roasted lamb with zucchini or a yummy chicken cassarole. then i would finish with a rousing rendition of “american pie!”

catcalls anyone?

meow

A most delicious job

on tv two ladies were working in a chocolate factory. they were supposed to wrap the chocolates that were moving by them, but the chocolates were going too fast and the ladies couldn’t keep up, so they started eating the chocolates.

i’d like to have a job like that! i can eat lots of chocolates! and licorice, and fudge and caramel and truffles. i’ll work anyplace where i can eat too! i would work overtime, and weekends as well. i would be a model employee. forget breaks- i would put in really long shifts. in fact, they would have to push me out the door to go home.

but i guess i’ll just dream about that job. or i’ll dream about dinner tonight, and for dessert i’ll dream about caramel banana pudding. yum yum!

meow.

Selfie!

 

frans likes to take lots of pictures of me. sometimes he puts himself in the picture too. he makes silly faces which he thinks is really funny. i don’t really care for it- but it makes frans happy so i put up with it.

people do odd things that i just don’t understand. they like picking me up and waving my paws. or they toss ping pong balls for me to chase. i do it just to humor them until they go away, and then i continue with my catnap. sometimes people take pictures of me when i’m snoozing. they laugh really hard and then i wake up. i don’t know what’s so funny about pictures of somebody sleeping, but it seems to make people happy.

what makes me happy is a big bowl of chicken chili with green chile peppers and shredded monterey jack cheese and cayenne pepper and ground cumin and olive oil and lots of sour cream. i can picture that!

meow

Afternoon kitty nap

there’s nothing like a nice long lazy catnap on a sunny afternoon. lounging on the couch is nice, but when the sun is warm it’s great to stretch out snooze outside. oh just thinking about it makes me feel drowsy and s l  e   e    p    y     .

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