frans likes to take lots of pictures of me. sometimes he puts himself in the picture too. he makes silly faces which he thinks is really funny. i don’t really care for it- but it makes frans happy so i put up with it.
people do odd things that i just don’t understand. they like picking me up and waving my paws. or they toss ping pong balls for me to chase. i do it just to humor them until they go away, and then i continue with my catnap. sometimes people take pictures of me when i’m snoozing. they laugh really hard and then i wake up. i don’t know what’s so funny about pictures of somebody sleeping, but it seems to make people happy.
what makes me happy is a big bowl of chicken chili with green chile peppers and shredded monterey jack cheese and cayenne pepper and ground cumin and olive oil and lots of sour cream. i can picture that!
i should win an award for my culinary talents. with my fine-tuned nose i can sniff food from across the house and i know exactly what’s for dinner. i can pick out gourmet rosemary crust lamb chop from chicken pad thai or polish sausage with cabbage or an oscar mayer wiener!
i consider myself a cuisine fine-artist. eating is an art form that few people appreciate the way i do. mealtime is sacred to me, a personal time to get in touch with the thing that matters most. for me it isn’t- and the envelope, please. it’s- and the the dinner dish, please!
i like to stretch after a nice long nap. i always curl up when i sleep, and my body gets tight like a knot. it’s probably because i think about big important things when i snooze, like if i have hamburgers for lunch, should i have steak for dinner or something vegetarian? pondering these thoughts makes my body tense, so when i wake up i shake my fanny and stretch my legs to get all the kinks worked out. sometimes it’s a real work-out, and then i’m so hungry i could eat a horse! i’ve never actually eaten a horse, but i looooove duck a l’orange!
hmmmmm, i can just taste the zesty orange sauce made with peychaud bitters and grand marnier, with garlic and onions and chopped celery, served with sweet potatoes and spiced butter pecan topping!
life can be a puzzle, and so can i! i’m a very complicated cat- sometimes i want to spend the morning just hanging out in the kitchen, and other times i want to be in the living room, napping on the couch. and i won’t even know why! i can’t even figure myself out. do i dream to eat, or eat to dream? it’s all very complicated…
that’s why frans made a puzzle out of me. kids can print this picture and cut out the pieces and put me back together again. and meanwhile i’m going to the dining room to dream about a yummy catfish dinner made with buttermilk and paprika and celery seeds and garlic powder and cooked in peanut oil!
these kids from an elementary school in Canoga Park are chuckling because i am sooooo animated! i flop and slip and flip around and do all sorts of funny stuff. it’s easy when you’re animated. but for real i’m happy just lounging around on the couch at home.
speaking of home, this week frans is doing a skype visit from home with the school, so he can talk to the kids and they can ask him lots of questions about me. and they can see me too! i’ll sit on frans’ lap for a little while. but when it gets close to lunch time i get a little cranky. my tummy starts to rumble, and it gets a little awkward. so i’ll go take a nap and dream about being a baker or a butcher or a chef, anything to take my mind off food.
i like to sit by the soft candle light listening to romantic music like “what’s new pussycat?” and “cat scratch fever” while munching on caramel chocolates and peanut-butter-jam heart cookies and heart-shaped cherry pie and chocolate strawberries and cream cheese sugar candies and lolly pop cookies and chocolate truffle cookies.
i love valentine’s day!