Birdman, or the expected virtue of ignorance

Birdman

sometimes i pretend i’m a superhero and i can fly like a bird. i go way up high, and then i can

finally catch those birdies that come into my backyard and make all that racket, trying to annoy

me because they think i can’t catch them. but when i’m birdman i can!

if i think really hard, and listen to that little voice in my head that says, yes i can! i think i could

fly. yesterday i jumped from the bench in my yard and i tried hard to fly, but i fell straight down

on my snout. i think i didn’t think hard enough. i’ll try again today, but first i need food. i can’t

think on an empty stomach. a tuna melt with relish and swiss cheese and a sweet pickle will do.

and then i’ll be ready to fly!

meow.

A meatball named desire

A meatball named desire.

eating is a very personal thing for me, so i like to get to know my meals. sometimes i name my meals joy, because food makes me happy. or passion, because i’m very passionate about eating. or desire, because i always desire more when i’m finished.

food is very special to me, and i treat it with lots of respect. like when i’m enjoying a delicious chocolate souffle with sprinkled sugar on top, i feel like i’m spending time with a close friend.

i can’t wait to see my next friend, precious. he’s a pork chop!

meow!

Dishwasher

Dishwasher 1Dishwasher 3Dishwasher 4

i like to help clean up after dinner. i do my part for the family, and get a few last licks in! we had a very nice beef

strogenoff tonight, with mushrooms and noodles and goat cheese and green onions and sour cream. mmmmmmm,

just what a portly cat like me likes!

so i always volunteer for clean-up duty.

meow!

Attack of the vacuum monster!

Attack of the vacuum cleaner

this morning the vacuum cleaner attacked me again. i can’t stand that thing! i’ll be minding my own

business, having a nice quiet nap, and suddenly the rug is pulled from under me! all that racket,and i

have to run off half asleep. and then it keeps coming wherever i go, like it’s following me.

it just goes all over the house, and when it finally stops, i’m so shook up and tense that i can’t sleep

anymore. i try, but i keep thinking that it’s right behind me, sneaking up on me. the only thing that’ll

soothe my nerves then is a big yummy meal. i’m thinking chinese- kung pao chicken with hot and sour

soup and dumplings and vegetable noodles.

ahhhh, i’m feeling better already just thinking about food.

meow.

A comfy ride

Travel-ready Felix

a cozy suitcase packed with warm clothes is a great place for a nap! i love squirming into a thick

sweater or a soft shirt. i would like to go on a big trip. not on a plane, but on a train. i’d sit back,

staring out the window watching the scenery go by, enjoying a yummy shrimp cocktail and

roasted peanuts and a glass of buttermilk.

i wouldn’t really care where i was going, as long as i get lots of yummy food!

meow.

Pastry chef Fuddles

Chef Fuddles

I would make a great pastry chef. i would make sure everything tastes

really good because i would taste everything i bake! i would make pastries

and cakes and tarts and cream puffs and pies, and i’d use extra thick whip

cream and a ton of butter and sugar and caramel and every yummy thing

i can think of!

all i need is an apron and that big white hat!

meow.

Doctor Fuddles

Dr Fuddles

i dream of being a vet so i could treat dogs in my own special way. i would purge their desires to chase and pester cats, and bark loudly during catnaps, and growl whenever we scratch the furniture. i would use my persuasive methods to convince those tedious, foul-smelling, obnoxious creatures to change their ways. 

A mere half hour of my time would reduce a wild barking beast to a sweet soft mushpot, fearful of crossing paths with a cat! the world would be safe for all cats if i was a vet! Woo ha ha ha ha ha ha! i would make such a good doctor! cats everywhere would worship me, seeking my services for the betterment of their neighborhoods! 

ah, if only dreams would come true…

meow.

The Orange County Children’s Book Fair!

OC Book Fest

 

frans will be at the orange county children’s book fair on sunday, september 28th! he’ll be signing fuddles books all day, and

he’s going to do a fuddles drawing demonstration for kids and their parents on the illustrator’s stage at 10 am.

that’s no big deal to me. i see that all the time. i watch frans draw in his studio all day long. it gets kind of boring, just

sitting there making a bunch of drawings. so i take a nap and dream about my next meal. that’s much more interesting .

ahh, chicken wings, corn dogs, tuna salad swedish pancakes…

meow.