Young Fuddles reader

Young reader

look at this avid young reader, appreciating my adventures! she looks so intrigued as i work

out to prepare for the great outdoors.

i love entertaining kids almost as much as i love eating! it’s hard to beat a happy kid’s smile,

but a heaping plate of beet pickled deviled eggs will do the trick. add a chocolate peanut

butter cheesecake, and food wins, paws down!


Birdman, or the expected virtue of ignorance


sometimes i pretend i’m a superhero and i can fly like a bird. i go way up high, and then i can

finally catch those birdies that come into my backyard and make all that racket, trying to annoy

me because they think i can’t catch them. but when i’m birdman i can!

if i think really hard, and listen to that little voice in my head that says, yes i can! i think i could

fly. yesterday i jumped from the bench in my yard and i tried hard to fly, but i fell straight down

on my snout. i think i didn’t think hard enough. i’ll try again today, but first i need food. i can’t

think on an empty stomach. a tuna melt with relish and swiss cheese and a sweet pickle will do.

and then i’ll be ready to fly!


A meatball named desire

A meatball named desire.

eating is a very personal thing for me, so i like to get to know my meals. sometimes i name my meals joy, because food makes me happy. or passion, because i’m very passionate about eating. or desire, because i always desire more when i’m finished.

food is very special to me, and i treat it with lots of respect. like when i’m enjoying a delicious chocolate souffle with sprinkled sugar on top, i feel like i’m spending time with a close friend.

i can’t wait to see my next friend, precious. he’s a pork chop!



Dishwasher 1Dishwasher 3Dishwasher 4

i like to help clean up after dinner. i do my part for the family, and get a few last licks in! we had a very nice beef

strogenoff tonight, with mushrooms and noodles and goat cheese and green onions and sour cream. mmmmmmm,

just what a portly cat like me likes!

so i always volunteer for clean-up duty.


Attack of the vacuum monster!

Attack of the vacuum cleaner

this morning the vacuum cleaner attacked me again. i can’t stand that thing! i’ll be minding my own

business, having a nice quiet nap, and suddenly the rug is pulled from under me! all that racket,and i

have to run off half asleep. and then it keeps coming wherever i go, like it’s following me.

it just goes all over the house, and when it finally stops, i’m so shook up and tense that i can’t sleep

anymore. i try, but i keep thinking that it’s right behind me, sneaking up on me. the only thing that’ll

soothe my nerves then is a big yummy meal. i’m thinking chinese- kung pao chicken with hot and sour

soup and dumplings and vegetable noodles.

ahhhh, i’m feeling better already just thinking about food.


A comfy ride

Travel-ready Felix

a cozy suitcase packed with warm clothes is a great place for a nap! i love squirming into a thick

sweater or a soft shirt. i would like to go on a big trip. not on a plane, but on a train. i’d sit back,

staring out the window watching the scenery go by, enjoying a yummy shrimp cocktail and

roasted peanuts and a glass of buttermilk.

i wouldn’t really care where i was going, as long as i get lots of yummy food!


Pastry chef Fuddles

Chef Fuddles

I would make a great pastry chef. i would make sure everything tastes

really good because i would taste everything i bake! i would make pastries

and cakes and tarts and cream puffs and pies, and i’d use extra thick whip

cream and a ton of butter and sugar and caramel and every yummy thing

i can think of!

all i need is an apron and that big white hat!


Doctor Fuddles

Dr Fuddles

i dream of being a vet so i could treat dogs in my own special way. i would purge their desires to chase and pester cats, and bark loudly during catnaps, and growl whenever we scratch the furniture. i would use my persuasive methods to convince those tedious, foul-smelling, obnoxious creatures to change their ways. 

A mere half hour of my time would reduce a wild barking beast to a sweet soft mushpot, fearful of crossing paths with a cat! the world would be safe for all cats if i was a vet! Woo ha ha ha ha ha ha! i would make such a good doctor! cats everywhere would worship me, seeking my services for the betterment of their neighborhoods! 

ah, if only dreams would come true…